Its my 18th birthday today. Yaaay !!!
I'm thankful for innumerable blessings, thankful for this chance to live, so so thankful and grateful to God...
First high point of my day,I got a surprise cake delivered to my office!! It WAS AWESOME !!! Red velvet with cream cheese icing, my personal favourite.
I was more surprised because no one even knows my office address, but I guess when people really love you they don't mind going on Google to get it, or stylishly finding it out from someone, LOL.
First lesson of the day. Its about me. No one else. At least for now. Ultimately my happiness is my responsibility, If I'm blessed enough to have people that make me happier, then I'm really blessed indeed. I need to grow up, quit blaming or accusing people, become the best version of my own self and quit thinking about what anyone else is doing. If I died today, life will go on, and the people I think will be hurt the most might move on in a week.
"Change doesn't necessarily have to be given to you, sometimes you may have to bring change with you".
So this morning as I was getting ready to leave the house,I tried on four different outfits and my Mum had to ask if I'd resigned or something because she did not understand why I was still in the house.
In my mind I was just thinking: "I have to look really nice today,so that when my day turns out ordinary per usual,I'd still be happy because I look fine". Then I remembered someone I know who was ill for three years and as a result of the illness she couldn't wear any clothes at all for a year or so. Despite all of that,she forced herself to remain joyful,even with her skin falling off her body.
I decided to be happy today regardless, and have zero expectations. That helped a lot because the day turned out ordinary (I looked nice though). There was nothing really romantic or special about my day at all, and my boss was now telling me that if I was married I would have had an awesome day, and she started regaling me with tales of all her hubby does for her. On the other hand though, what about people that are married to lazy unromantic men that are insensitive and have no foresight? He may not even remember the day or even pick up on what he needs to do to make your day special.
So per the quote above, I decided that for my next birthday, married or not, I will plan my day out for myself, and forget anyone else. Last year's birthday was crappy and the year before's ,yet somehow I expected this year to be different. So I promise myself I will bring my own change. Its about time a lot of stuff changes really, it being a new year of my life and all.
Speaking of change, so today I did something totally out of character. This morning, I got on a bus, and I preached to the strangers on the bus. I must admit that for the first twenty minutes I thought I'd peed myself. I tried talking a couple of times and no words came out. Then I started, and it all came tumbling out. I figured, hey, if I must suffer on a bus, I might as well do God's work for this short time, since this suffering will only last for a night. However, I don't think anyone on the bus listened to me, and only one person said 'Amen' after I was done. Then one other dude decided to use it as an avenue to 'get to know me better'. Still, It was awesome!!.
I must bring change. Instead of suffering and complaining, every situation I find myself, everyone I meet must somehow reflect Christ.
So new year, new resolutions, things that have to end, others that have to begin, people that I have to detach emotionally from, a change of mindset and becoming a better person.
I was happy about everyone that genuinely remembered my birthday, and there were some that disappointed me because they had to be reminded by others later on in the day, then some dry uninspired messages but some overwhelming ones as well. I had my phones on Silent mode allday, wasn't really in the mood for calls or messages,just wanted to be by myself and reflect.
God bless you. God bless me.
Bottoms up !!!
