Every man for himself, God for us all.....

Everyone is selfish...or maybe most people are. I am not though, or at least I don't think I am, to a large extent.

I am sick and tired of being this unselfish person, of shelving my plans for others, of making people my priority when I am only an option.

Its the little things..

From someone telling you to travel with her to see her in-law in two weeks, you go get a new dress, and cancel all your plans for that weekend. Then she calls you to tell you she is already on the way there. And in my mind, I'm like 'dude, I was ready to risk my life to travel with you, I even cancelled the appointments I had this weekend' but I just wish her a safe trip, and don't remind her that she asked me to go with her in the first place.

Or you borrow money to get a laptop with the intention of Skyping with someone that did not even have any plans for you in the first place.

Those are two scenarios I just made up, but its just what it is.

Why plan your time around people, when if given the same opportunity, they would make their own plans, and tell you about it later, not considering you at all, but if given the opportunity you would try to work around it till the last possible minute, just so you can have time together.

Maybe its just that I don't have any goals of my own, that's why I put people's needs first...Maybe I'm just plain stupid and naive.

If someone cannot give you their time, it probably follows that they will not give you material things either.

Everyone is selfish, but some people prove me wrong...

I have a friend doing his PHD at the moment. He is uber busy, one of the most hardworking people I know, and under tremendous pressure to boot. This week alone he had to write two proposals,that's apart from all the experiments he has to conduct, yet he always takes time out to know how I am doing, ALWAYS. As a matter of fact I virtually know his itinerary by heart. I sent him a list of books and movies I wanted him to get for me, and he told me the books we're pretty expensive, but he'd get some for me and download the rest. He also took the time out to search for the movies and download for me. This is someone that has three jobs, working on his thesis and barely has time to breathe. He even told me to ask him for money if I need any, despite the fact that he's got so many expenses and has been the head of the family from a very young age.
I have another friend that's many time-zones ahead of me,eight hours away but he always makes time for me. I can't recall the amount of times I have woken him up from sleep just to whine. He's my shrink and ally rolled in one.
There are numerous examples of people that go out of their way for me, but I just used these examples because it's barely a year since I got close to both guys, yet they have been such a blessing to me.

What inspired me to write this post?

I bought my sister a ticket online, made a mistake in the booking and had to pay extra. After doing that I couldn't afford the return ticket. So I tell her, and she says she's not coming anymore, that she can't go through the stress of going to get a ticket over the counter, especially now that there are no flights because everyone's travelling, yada yada yada... and I am on the phone in shock... I would probably have squeezed out the money for another ticket but her attitude killed me. This is someone I was so looking forward to seeing, I had so many things planned for noth of us already then she gives me this BS. And the worst thing is e-tickets are non-transferrable so my money is gone down the drain.

Its the little things, yet its the important things...

Sooooo.. I have decided that from here on, I need to become a selfish chic, or at least just save my selflessness for those that actually deserve it. But I haven't the foggiest idea how to go about it. How do I just learn to put myself first?

Answers, anyone?