Obviously...
Its probably the fear...u know when u want something so bad that u don't even wanna attempt it...
I've forgotten how to write...that's if I ever knew how to
Maybe it's because the things I'm really supposed to write about are so painful,that if I put them down on paper they'll become so real to me, and if I read about them later I might actually go mad..
Maybe that's it...
I really thought I was gonna see d A-Z challenge to d end, not even miss a day, but yet again I've gone and fallen short of even my low expectations.
I've had the G-post in my head for a couple of weeks now, even the J post and the T post...but.... *sigh*
In my head I'm fearless the writer, fashion stylist, make-up artist, critic, blogger-extraordinaire, fashionista and all-round IT girl.
In real-life I'm fearful the wallpaper and 9-5 worker,nothing else.
I go to the office, come home, lie in bed in the dark and just go through the motions, make the effort. I'm really not interested in anything anymore. Jonah's got nothing on me nowadays.
A million places I could be, a million people I could be with, but, errr, I'll pass. I just love myself and my own company, exactly as I am right now. And oddly enough, I'm happy, happy as I am right now, and that's what's really worrisome.
Restless and discontent, but happy all d same.
There's just something missing, I can't seem to place my finger on it.
Writing used to be my drug, but its like I need a new high, I'm so restless, I bore easily, blanking people out, not really getting involved.....
I'm still a voracious reader though, I probably read at least a small novel worth of stuff a day, thank God that part's not changed.
I think because my year started out really terribly and I'm still yet 2 get back 2 normal.
I'm still in shock and second-guessing myself in my subconscious.
Maybe writing about it will help, then again, maybe it won't, but I don't even know how to begin anyway.
Its almost like I don't have anything to look forward to, I'm just existing....just there...
I need to start writing again...
