I was cheated on, and while for some others its 'one of those things', for me its...I can't even find the words to be honest.
I know someone that broke up with her fiance cos he was cheating and even though the wedding date had been set, venue, etc paid for and all payment made, she still walked away. Many people couldn't understand her point of view.
I think I do though. Because if someone loves you they don't humiliate you right? Even if the cheating was a 'mistake' , what about all that happens after?
When even a year after they made the 'mistake', u realise that they are still assisting those babes they claimed they never wanna have nyth 2 do with nymore?
Or the fact that u can't hold ur head up anymore in front of people way younger than you are? People that used to regard you with respect back in the day, and even now are supposed to look up to you, but now regard you with ridicule, because of the actions of someone u let into your life, and how he's portrayed you.
Or that even one year after the cheating supposedly ended u realise that everyone even knew all about it and that the reputation u thought u were building all these years isn't worth squat cos everyone knew.
And even a year after they are still joking with the guy, crude jokes about the other babes bodies, and how hot they are, and this dude that claimed otherwise is actually laughing about it with them, making jokes on the stuff that caused you all these tears...
And you now understand why some people walked away even immediately they find stuff like this out, and y u were a big fool to still consider him even after you found out
Cos even after the 'confession', he was still lying, still omiting stuff, but you kept ignoring the signs, still foolishly believed the side of the story he decided to tell you, until you realised that there was a much bigger picture, and u are now just 4ft tall cos all d humiliation has crippled you, and you can't show your face again before all these people.
Or that when u wake up in the morning in depths of despair, he still condemns u 4 crying, despite all he did. Cos 2 him your pain is nothing , even though he caused it.
Ur pain is so insignificant to him that he is still ridiculing and humiliating you even a year after, laughing about all the stuff and the babes with people, he still...
So u ve 2 take ur tears 2 sm1 else, and start therapy, even though ur therapist tells you that you already know what you should do but u r just not doing it.
And what kills you most is that despite the fact that uv tried 2b decent ppl r laughing @ u behind ur back cos of d way someone u let in2 ur life dragged u in the mud.
But despite all this, what du do? U laugh, and b happy, and b d best damn person you can be, becasue uv left it all in Gods hands, and ur just amused when he lies, keeps lying even when you've got proof, and everyday he reminds u how the heart of man is really desperately wicked.
People will lie, keep stuff from you and still sleep soundly, still act like everything is normal, but what du do? U just laugh, even in the midst of the humiliation, and despite the fact that you don't even think you will ever love any man again, u just laugh, laugh at all the stupid lies and excuses,till you are even tired of asking questions anymore cos seeing people make a fool of themselves just gets tiring after a while
And u watch,watch, keep watching and keep being good to those that have been most evil to you....
God is the master director after all, so its so interesting to watch how this play unfolds...
------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment