E.....is For.....Excuses

"The Pharmacist: Does he love you?
Bree Van de Kamp: Yes he does.
The Pharmacist: Is he a good person?
Bree Van de Kamp: Yes, he is
The Pharmacist: Then it's simple, really. If I could find a good person to love me, I'd be the luckiest person in the world"
- Desperate Housewives

I lie in bed tonight, fagged out and sleepy,writing this post that was due on Saturday.

I have valid reasons why I couldn't write it- I went to the movies on Saturday, got in real late,hung out with my friend, dint get in bed till about midnight, thought of writing it then but my battery was flat. And frankly there was nothing arresting going through my head for the letter 'E'..... These are all valid reasons,or better put, sorry excuses.

Thing is, if I really wanted to do it i coulda done it earlier in d day b4 d 6pm muvee instead of just farfing around...I'm sure if I was getting paid to do this I probably woulda put up a post unfailingly on Saturday. Soooo there! Excuses are usually reasons we give for not doing what we shoulda done, for knowingly making a choice and not being brave enuff to face the consequences

That said, going from the quote above,who is a good person? When I first read that quote, I laughed hard. This Pharmacist is acting lyk he just achieved world peace or something.
Like if a 'good' person loves you then you're sitting pretty? Yeah, right!

Those you think are 'good' usually disappoint you on a grand scale. So why not go with those that are supposedly 'bad'? At least the surprises you get along the way are minimal.

So this 'good person' he's referring to, what makes them so? Is there any such thing?

In my opinion, I think its highly overrated and subjective. You meet this governor's kid and she says stuff like 'Oh, my Dad is a good man' and you're like 'Dude, ur Dad looted public funds, left d state infrastructure worse than he met it and left high sch kids outta sch for a whole year because he refused to increase teachers salaries. But because he's so sweet to you and keeps depositing millions in your account, he's a good man? I think not

My friend dates a married man for 10years running, he eventually sends his wife and kids packing because of her and I say 'oh, I know she's a good girl'. Seriously???

Who then is a good person? Am I saying a good person doesn't fall or make mistakes? No I'm not.

I'l give an example. There's this man I feel is a 'good man'. He's one of my pastors. I feel he's a good man because he is a responsible man. Passionate about God, his country, his wife, his family. He stands out because he stands up for what he believes in.

He will turn down a president's invitation not minding whose ox is gored. He prays and intercedes on behalf of his country and state. He votes. He would come on the altar to speak out that the only places he is naked are in the bathroom and in the presence of his wife. He is a silver spoon kid, and expected to be "funky" but he doesn't mind if he is not popular or if nobody comes to his church. He will speak the truth about corruption, bribery, indecent dressing, adultery....

He and his wife would offer young girls accommodation because they do not want them to co-habit with the opposite sex. He is the first to admit even his littlest mistake on the altar. He organises relief for refugees, gives to charities.

This is a man that always surrounds himself with his protocol officers to deter temptation from the opposite sex. He could rationalise it that "Oh, after all, Jesus made himself accessible, otherwise the woman with the issue of blood won't have been able to touch his garment", but he knows better, that he should flee from even the "appearance" of evil, after all its better to be safe than sorry.

He knows better than to give flimsy excuses.

On the rare occasion he finds himself alone with some 'Jezebels' he begins to speak in tongues.

This is a handsome, wealthy,well-dressed man. Elocution and carriage on point,yet he's 'spoiling fine boy' by speaking in tongues in an elevator.

This is a guy that used to go about in the sun and rain, preaching in public buses. A supposedly 'tush boy', but he doesn't care, he stands for what he believes in.

Am I saying he has never fallen? Of course he has. While he was a teenager living abroad,he was a drug addict living life on the fast lane.

So y then do I still say he is a good man?

Because I believe that even if a good man falls, he is going to do anything never to be in that situation again. He can never give the impression that he is in support of those things. A good man stands out, because he isn't lukewarm or sitting on the fence. His principles and values are never in doubt. He is passionate about his community and country. He does not create even the impression of evil.

If you were to go to a pub in his community, and ask ten random people about him, they would have the same good things to say about him.

A good man is courageous and fights his fears. He doesn't back down from responsibility. He provides for and defends his wife and kids. Even his extended family, he sees as his responsibility.

He has people he is accountable to, he develops himself and is knowledgeable. A good man is not lazy or passive. He utilises his talents and strives to better himself daily.

His integrity is his most prized attribute.
His word is his bond. He doesn't say things idly.
He leaves a legacy and inheritance for his children. Even many years after his death, his name opens doors for his children, because people say 'Your father was a good man, he was on the bench for thirty-eight years, one of d few judges who was brave enough to take an oath in a court of law that he never received a bribe throughout his career'

So a good man, be it an atheist or a priest, is all about his choices. His principles or values. The legacy he lives behind. What impact he has made.

A good man is who he is and what he stands for even after you remove his religion.

His duty to God, country, family and self.

Its all about choices.

So it irritates me to no end when I hear people say 'Oh, he did so-and-so but I know he's a good man'.

Really??? He did d same thing repeatedly, shutting out his conscience and you call him a good man? How is he different from a robber? And what gives you the right to say the robber is a bad man and should be imprisoned?

Where do you draw the line? Y is it acceptable for you to be dishonest time after time, like someone without a conscience, but its not acceptable for the robber to steal from the rich? What makes you any better? You both made choices, you both seared your conscience, so y is one a good man, and the other bad? Or are there degrees of wrongdoings? One is more acceptable than the other?

Who died and made you judge and jury?

Aren't they both products of their choices?

Maybe there's no such thing as a good man or bad man then, and instead of making excuses for these people, just keep quiet.

So am I a good woman? Of course I'll say I am. Y so?

I am one because everyday I strive to be the woman the bible talks about in Proverbs 31.

Because I don't give stupid excuses. More often than not, my reason for whatever action or non-action is cos I chose not to. Because I raise the bar higher, because to a large extent,people can be asked about me and say, she does not believe in so-and-so.

Because I have mentors and people I hold in high regard,because I learn from the mistakes of others instead of making the mistakes for myself and regretting them. Because I listen to advice, because I pray for my country.

Because I am already preparing for my future even from now, by asking elders for advice, asking about regrets they have about their own lives so I'll have a mental compass to lead me through life's journey.

Because I started praying for my future husband six years ago, and I've already started praying for my unborn children.

Because I know that delayed gratification is more honorable than instant gratification. Because I know what it is to sacrifice and deprive myself for the greater good.

Because I won't condone in others what I won't do myself, Because m not wishy-washy, neida m I a people-pleaser. Because I strive each day to be a better version of myself.

And so, because I am doing all of this, I also believe I deserve a good man.

But I honestly dunno if there's such a thing.

Maybe he's just my own good man. and that again is another bs excuse, cos if I am investing so much i shouldn't short-change myself.

Cos that as they say, would be putting pearls before swine....